


Saltines

by HarpiesoftheShore



Category: Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Boreth, Character Study, Coping, Episode: s02e12 Through the Valley of Shadows, Gen, Time Crystal Vision, Trauma, throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24451219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarpiesoftheShore/pseuds/HarpiesoftheShore
Summary: Christopher Pike falls apart and puts himself back together.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	Saltines

Christopher stared at the ceiling above him. His sheets were twisted around his legs and he knew that if he’d cared enough to kick them off he’d find it frustrating. Shapes seemed to form and un-form across the dull gray paint above him, and he let his eyes unfocus. Christopher stared at the ceiling.

Then he closed his eyes tightly, turning his head toward the window next to his bed. The stars seemed to pass slower than they ought to have. His eyes shifted to the windowsill, the light of the stars reflecting dully against the painted siding. He watched the dust settle. He could hear the low rumble of the ship’s impulse engines, but the sound that preoccupied him was the awful, incessant pounding in his ears. _Stop reminding me_.

Christopher allowed himself to fall halfway out of his bed before picking himself up and moving to his bathroom. He turned on the light above the shower and gripped the counter on either side of his sink. He watched a drop of water collect beneath the faucet. It dripped into the basin and the sound interrupted the _thud-thud-thud_ in his chest and head. He finally brought his eyes up to the mirror.

And then Christopher was gripping the sides of his toilet, throwing up the piece of toast he’d made himself eat four hours before. He was grateful that the toilet flushed automatically because his cheek was against the cold floor and he knew he wouldn’t be able to move in order to flush it. His unfocused eyes settled on the plunger behind the toilet.

His voice came out in a rasp. “Computer, lights off.”

He awoke what felt like an hour later, shivering. He stood, feeling incredibly weak. He stripped, throwing his sweat-soaked clothes onto the floor of his quarters. He turned on the lights and the shower as hot as it got and drank cold water from the sink. Standing under the hot water, he forced himself to wash his face, his body. His hands moved through his hair on autopilot, across his chest and legs by habit. He grabbed his towel, drying his hair before wrapping it around his waist. He walked across his quarters to the cabinet he used as a pantry, finding a box of crackers he kept for when he could keep down nothing else. He poured himself a glass of water and sat with his crackers at his desk. He made himself eat one, two, three of them. And then one more. He finished his water, stood, and dropped his towel with his night clothes. He put on fresh underwear, pants, and an undershirt. A clean top came off a hanger in his closet, clean socks from his drawer. He brushed his teeth and drank another glass of water. He zipped up his uniform and pulled on his boots.

Christopher then took a deep breath and stepped through the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. Captain Pike makes me so emo. He deserves the world and it's not fairrrr.
> 
> I was surprised to see that no one had really written a fic where Chris deals with his trauma alone. So I wrote it lol. If it's important to you, this takes place within the weeks after the events of season 2, as witnessing his future sort of...settles.


End file.
